Mel's Heart

My thoughts about God, living for Him, being a writer, wife, mom, and child of God

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Four Personality Types

Florence Littauer’s book Personality Plus for Couples provides a profile of four personality types. Each person has a predominant personality type, often with one other type being a close second. As you read these descriptions, think about which category you and your husband fall in to.

The Sanguine personality type, also called the Popular Personality, applies to those who are the “fun-loving, sunny, outgoing personalities who draw people to them because they seem to be having such a good time…. These boisterous individuals bring fun and drama into almost any situation, love the spotlight, and enjoy motivating others. They initiate conversations and can instantly become best friends with everyone in a group… they can also be disorganized, emotional and hypersensitive about what others think of them.” p. 19

The opposite personality type from the Sanguine is the Melancholy, the Perfect Personality. The Melancholy is “deep, thoughtful, introspective, serious, and perfectionistic… These perfectionists thrive on order, and you can depend on them to complete a job on time. But their perfectionism may make them critical or pessimistic, and they drive themselves crazy with their efforts to measure up to their own high standards.” p. 20

The third personality type is the Choleric, the Powerful Personality. These people are “the dynamic leaders of life and their motto echoes Nike’s slogan of ‘Just do it!’… Their self-discipline and ability to focus make them strong leaders. But their drive and determination can cause them to become workaholics, make them opinionated and stubborn, and leave them insensitive to other’s feelings.” p. 21
The opposite of the Choleric is the Phlegmatic, the Peaceful Personality.

Phlegmatics are easy-going, pleasant, and peaceful. Phlegmatics “think in terms of conserving energy and feel that if you ignore something long enough, someone else will do it. … Phlegmatics dislike risk, challenge, and surprise and will require time to adapt to changes. Although they avoid situations that are too stressful, they can work well under pressure. However, their lack of discipline and motivation often allow them to procrastinate in the absence of a strong leader.” p. 21.

Scott and I are complete opposites, no surprise to those who know us well. Have fun with this and let me know what your personality types are! It really has helped me to have these insights. Instead of saying what is wrong with that man! I'm more like to see that's the way God made each of us.

Monday, March 27, 2006

Basketball Season

This photo is of Zachary and Tyler playing basketball in our dining room. This hoop in our house came about after being at the Sheley's house in Minnesota. They have a hoop in their basement, so when we came home, the guys really wanted one. We have no basement, there's not enough room in the bonus room, therefore the hoop is in the dining room. They have so much fun together that I don't even mind that it's the focal point of downstairs.

One of my favorite things in the whole world is to watch Zachary play basketball. Tyler just started so I love to watch him, too, just haven't had as much time to do so. Scott comes from a b-ball family. His nephew's team in Minnesota made it to state. His Dad and sister coach. Scott and three sisters played basketball growing up. It's just in his blood. Scott coached Zachary's and Tyler's teams this year and was one of the commissioners. If he could figure out a way to coach youth sports for money, that's what he would do. He is so gifted at it. Maybe one day.

All this to say... I love basketball but I'm glad it's over. Of course we have to watch the tournament on tv...

A Clean House

This little picture cracks me up. It says, "I dreamed my whole house was clean." It is on a notepad that my friend Donna included wtih all my very nice Christmas presents.

I really like a clean house. Not a perfect one, by any means. Just cleaned up and tidy. Quite often I wish the cleaning fairy would come. Then I would just wake up and the house would be clean.

Saturday morning I woke up early, finished writing, and then started cleaning and then Scott helped me for hours. There is something about my husband sharing that load with me that just meant so much to me. I didn't need a cleaning fairy!

The truth is it feels rewarding to work hard and then have a great final product to show. That holds true with cleaning and my book. I sent the last 20 pages on Saturday. Thank you for praying! It felt harder to write those pages than writing the whole rest of the book!

Friday, March 17, 2006

Ode to crafty moms

Whoever thought glitter was a good idea was wrong. This morning while I was writing, I thought to myself that six year old Tyler had been awfully quiet for an awfully long time. Every mom knows this moment. On the one hand you’re a little concerned about what your young child is doing. On the other hand you’re just so thankful for uninterrupted time that you ignore that little voice telling you to check on your child.

But then… I realized Tyler had discovered some glitter and paint and was in craft mode. Normally I am a crafty, let’s-be-creative-and-get-messy kind of mom. But today that mom is not here. No, today the “I need to get things done” mom woke up on the wrong side of the bed.

I found Tyler at the kitchen table happily making a sign for his dad. He wrote “Dad” and drew a cute picture of himself with the paint. Then, the finishing touch, he unloaded an entire container of glitter on this picture. When he saw me looking at him, he held up his creation, and with a big smile asked, “Won’t Dad like this, Mom?!”

Did I praise my creative son whose grandmother is a professional artist and who would have certainly congratulated him on his spectacular art? Did I think what a sweetie-pie for making a sign for his dad?

A few particles of glitter actually stuck to his painting when he held it up, but 99 % of it fell on the table, the floor, and him. I put my hands on my hips and without as much as a “good job” told him he would be helping clean up this mess. “Go get the vacuum!” I commanded with my don’t-mess-with-me voice.

“But mom I don’t know where it is,” explained Tyler.

“Oh yes you do and if you really don’t then why on earth don’t you you’re almost seven for pete’s sake.”

As I helped him retrieve the vacuum from the closet, the dogs thought they’d discovered some treats on the floor. So they sniffed the glitter, got it all over themselves, and walked on the carpet. Then Tyler realized he had glitter all over his hands, which was now all over the vacuum. He washed his hands, and had to go potty while there, leaving glitter from the sink to the commode, and other private places.

“Okay, go change your clothes and I’ll just clean this up myself!”

“But, Mom, Dad’s really going to like my picture.”

Wednesday, March 15, 2006


Tyler got baptised last Sunday! What a special day. I have always prayed that my sons will be men of God. Earlier in the week, Tyler had heard me talking to Ginny about her daughter Campbell getting baptised. When I got off the phone, he told me he wanted to be baptised! Yeah! I love that it was his idea, no one we even asked him about it. About a year ago he prayed to have Jesus in his heart, and in Sunday School they've talked about baptism. We just were waiting for him to be ready!

Our whole family has been baptised at Southbrook - Scott and I about five years ago, Zachary 3 years ago, and now Tyler. Our church has been such a part of our lives in Charlotte. Although it had changed so much in the past year, it still is a place where people truly love God and our pastor preaches God's truth. Amen!

And yes, these pictures are in reverse order. Oh well...

Sunday, March 12, 2006

Seeking Him

I am in a Bible study Tuesday nights with a great group of women, women who truly love God and want to know Him better. This week's lesson was on honesty, specifically about being honest with God. Our legacy from Adam and Eve is to try to hide and pretend with others and God. How silly! What can we possibly hide from God! And God wants us to be honest so we can be cleansed of our self, to be filled with Him, to be used by HIm.

So that takes us to confession, which seems to be a recurring theme in my life.
Confession is being honest with God about our sin, really about our independence from God. So I am just going throughout the day trying to pray all day, to confess as God brings things to mind. What a blessing to be free from sin! While we were yet sinners Christ died for us... Romans 5:28.

And then that leads me to cleaning out in general. I really to get rid of stuff. There was that time I threw away the really important check, but that's a story in my book!

To me there's just something cathartic about getting rid of old stuff, stuff I'm not using or don't need anymore. If you think about it, there's a great spiritual parallel there! I am seeing many old ways of doing things in my life. The big one I'm learning about right now is not responding out of my own thoughts and feelings and will. I take all that captive to the Lord, confess it if it's sin, and then let Him fill me.

Saturday, March 11, 2006

Mel and the girls

If we had to have dogs, they had to be girls. So here's my girls, Jenna and Emma. There's just enough boy stuff in my life - burps, farts, sponge bob, legos, basketballs, you know.

Friday, March 10, 2006

For Mike

This picture is of some of our bestest friends in the whole world Amy, Mike and their baby Catherine (photo is missing their 3 y.o. Caroline - she's off with the boys somewhere). Mike was giving Scott a hard time about his photo being on my blog, so I know deep down inside Mike wanted his picture here, too.

This gives me a chance to say what a blessing these dear friends are, friends I know we'll share life with, even share eternity.

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

God's been good to me

Tonight I am tired but feeling reflective. So I'll share some thoughts before I go to bed really early- even skipping idol.

God is so good. REally, really good. What an amazing thing His love is. It's not a distant, far off, let me see how you do before I decide if I love you, kind of love. It's just love, pure love, because God is love and He cannot be separated from His character.

My heart is just full of the way He has been so good to me. I never want to take His blessings for granted, although I know that I do. So thank you, Heavenly Father, that you know me by name. Thank you for my sweet husband, that you knew He was the one I needed. Scott has sharpened me and has shown me so much of your light and your love. Thank you for the good, good friends in my life who love you and pursue you. Thank you for today at the pond with Holly, good talking, little boys having adventures in the woods, while three dogs crashed around getting muddy as can be.

Thank you for the things I've been learning about You, the way you're opening my eyes to new things, the way Your Word leaps out at me, that I hunger and thirst for You more and more and that You give me that desire.

Thank you for taking away my fears and insecurities so I can be who you created me to be.
2 Timothy 1:7 for god has not given us a spirit of fear, but of love and power and discipline.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

You have circled this mountain long enough

These verses from Deuteronomy have been in my heart and mind lately.
Deuteronomy 2:3 & 7 "You have circled this mountain long enough. Now turn north
...For the Lord your God has blessed you in all that you have done; He has known your wonderings through this great wilderness. These forty years the Lord your God has been with you; you have not lacked a thing."

God has been saying to me the past few years that it is time to move on and get over myself! I have circled the mountain long enough, in the sense that I have allowed fears and insecurities to keep me from doing what I believe God is calling me to do - write and speak. The forty years lept out at me because I really began to have my eyes opened, in a spiritual sense, at the age of forty. And what a comfort to be reminded that God is with me every step of the way.

I went to hear Marybeth Whalen speak on motherhood, and she gave such great reminders of what a blessing and a calling it is to be a child's mother. One of the verses she mentioned is such a beautiful promise for whatever challenge we are facing - trials of motherhood, marriage, facing fears, etc. Psalm 37:24 When he falls, he will not be hurled headlong, because the Lord is the One who holds his hand.

The only reason I can move ahead one step at a time is that I know that I know that God is with me, holding my hand. I'm not walking behind or ahead; I'm walking beside him holding His hand. That's a good place to be.

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

I just got some photos developed so thought I'd post them. The family photo shows us by the pool - the boys jumped in yesterday after I dared them. Scott didn't think that was such a good idea. Oh well. They had fun!

Tyler's picture is from Christmas. Both Zachary and Tyler love legos. The only problem with Tyler and Legos is that he wants to play with whatever he's created, but he also wants it to stay completely in tact. He's actually kept this Turbo Tank together.

Zachary will be shooting hoops in the driveway this afternoon. It's a beautiful warm day. I have no idea how to turn that photo so it's just staying like that.