My hope is in You

My hope is in You... My hope is in You... this refrain from a song keeps echoing in my mind. Not sure why... but it's made me search my heart to see where my hope is. First, God knows we need hope... He promises He is our hope...read Psalm 39...

As I'm pursuing some dreams in my life, dreams which God has planted in my heart, I've seen my ego getting involved in ways that are yucky. You see, my dreams are for God, for God to be glorified in my life through writing and speaking specifically. But boy it's so easy to let my ego and pride get in there... am I getting paid what I "should"? Am I as good as she is? When will my time be?

Can I honestly pray, Lord, take everything away except a heart for You? Can i honestly pray, Lord, I don't want this ___________ (you fill in the blank) if it's about me in any way.

I know some friends who are wrestling wtih this, too. All I know is if God is not in it, then it's not good or perfect or pleasing or acceptable to Him. And then I really don't want it. I honestly want what God wants more than what I want.
Sometimes I get to that after a struggle, but I do always get to that point and pray that I always will.

Then longer I live a life abiding in Christ, the more I know the Lord, the more I want to know the Lord, the more I cannot imagine a life apart from Him. I have prayed a prayer for me and Scott for years, Lord make us hunger and thirst for You alone. and I have seen that prayer answered in my life and my husband's.

I am also discovering that the knowing God also means knowing yourself better and better, knowing more and more what i was created to do. Not for my own purposes but His.
2 Corinthians 4:16 Therefore we do not lose heart, ... our inner man is being renewed day by day.

Ephesians 2:10 for we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them.

The every day life I live as a wife, mother, daughter, sister and friend is the realest part of my life, but it's easy sometimes to get too caught up in the dreams of speaking and writing. The way I love my husband, the way I do the laundry, the way I giggle with my boys... is real and can be offered up to Him in praise just like writing a book can be offered up to Him.
Gotta get going with this day...