Mel's Heart

My thoughts about God, living for Him, being a writer, wife, mom, and child of God

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

More about relationships and self-righteousness

I feel very strongly this morning about these thoughts. And they are directed to myself as much as to anyone reading them.

My thoughts this morning are about our tendency to self-righteousness. We have a tendency to think we have the answers for others. We see a friend in a situation or going through a struggle and it's so easy to think, if she would just______________, then that would solve her problem.

Maybe it's the way she disciplines her children; maybe it's the way she's interacting with her husband; maybe it's decisions about a career.

We think to ourselves and maybe even say to her or worse, another friend, things like, "You need to get a handle on those kids and send them to their rooms for a few hours." "You need to speak up and let your husband know what you think and feel." "I don't know why she's working. They don't even need the money."

In a nutshell, self-righteous, just like the Pharisees. Maybe we truly think we have good motives. Maybe we just want to help... maybe we've seen something work in our own lives and just want to share the same helpful advice...

It's as if we have these yardsticks by which we measure ourselves and others. These rules of a good Christian and godly living. Sometimes we're aware of them, sometimes we're not, but God sure is making me aware of my "rules!"

Some of the rules I'm becoming aware of in my life...
A good mom...doesn't let her kids watch too much tv, feeds her kids healthy meals, does crafts, reads to her kids, spends quantity and quality time with her kids, doesn't scream at her kids.

A godly woman... has a quiet time every day, serves at church, doesn't let a curse word slip out, doesn't fight with her husband, is at home more than working away from home...

And then there's Jesus who says "the greatest of these is love." "love covers..."
What if instead of self-righteousness, we rained down mercy and love. It would sound like this. "Being a mom can be exhausting. Do you want to come over and hang out for a while?" "I'll be praying for you to have peace with your husband. I know you want that too."

Matthew 5:7 "Blessed are the merciful for they shall receive mercy."
I'm praying that I will be like my Father by being merciful. Instead of offering the yardstick of my Christian rules, I want to offer the balm of my Father's mercy and love.


At 10:56 AM, Blogger MarktheChef said...


I think I learned a great lesson on this recently. We need to talk and to communicate and to argue so we are rightOUS ... not so we are right! I am working on this with our LORD everyday ... and I hope that someday the good LORD will say I have done well.

But can I tell you about someone who is sooo bad at this??? Only kidding ..

You are an assume Mom, Wife and friend and one of the best and keeping your lips sealed for the LORD! Keep it up.


At 10:58 AM, Blogger MarktheChef said...

OOPS ... I mean AWESOME!

At 7:59 AM, Blogger JennyRain said...

I LOVE your posting today and it is such a great reminder for us all. I just read something yesterday on righteousness, and often the more we seek after it, the more our 'flaws' become evident, and once they show up, we are (I am) often all to happy to project them onto someone else rather than own them. Why is it so hard to believe that when we point a finger at someone else that we have 3 of our own pointing back at us? :)

At 4:50 AM, Blogger Amy P. said...

I love this post, thank you for the timely reminder my friend.


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