Another book excerpt...

A Wife Is Not the Holy Spirit

A word of caution: Being your husband’s helper does not open the doors for you to give your husband advice, suggest, manipulate, nag, direct, fix or in any way to try to change him. Unfortunately, we women try so often to be our husband’s Holy Spirit. Many men commented on their distaste for wives who try to change them. “It does not mean to tell me what to do all the time,” explains Phillip. Tony said, “Do not confuse helper with director or critic.”

Get out of God’s way and let God change your husband. “In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, the may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives” (1 Peter 3:1). Did you notice how a wife can influence her unbelieving or disobedient husband? Without a word! By her behavior!

As wives our first job assignment is to be a helper to our husbands. Being a helper means being our husband’s friend, serving him, and developing closeness with him. Only as I look at my role through God’s eyes can I embrace this job assignment from God. One friend wrote in an e-mail: “I think when God made me a wife, he gave me a very special and honored title.” (Amy A.) What a sweet and right perspective she has of being a wife. May you and I have the same perspective as we treasure our role as helpers to our husbands.